Traumarama
Oh. My. Awkward.
I'm kind of a picker eater a date and my crush asked me to go the Japanese Restaurant. When we got there, I was so nervous that I didn't want to mention I'd never eat sushi before. I ordered a few rolls and when they come out I was so excited to see what I thought was a side of guacamole, I scooped it all into my mouth and immediately tasted it was wasabi. my eye started tearing but I tired to play cool like I knew what I was doing. My crush ordered me a ice cream to help I didn't feel cool but at least my mouth did!
LoVe, Channy _\m/
Thursday, October 20, 2016
Wednesday, August 10, 2016
Reject on V-Day
During my freshmen year of high school I had the biggest crush on a guy in my English class period. He always played the basketball and carry the ball everyday also adorable dimple smile,
the most incredible of his eye and handsome face. I would smile and make small talk with him but he always ended up striking up a super-animated conversation with another girls or asking someone else to be his date for dance.
I remember feeling totally rejected on during early week before valentine day. What didn't he look at me like he did the girls? But I look back, I've come to realize what I experiencing was rejext.
Rejection entails putting yourself out there, making your voice heard, and getting a hard no. It's no fun and its stings it make you eat an entire ice cream and a batch of chocolate chip cookies that's why I was depression. Reject,howeve is constantly thinking, I should've. ...... or what if .......
And never taking action because you fear or feel rejection. I should have at least asked my crush out instead of mentally trying to will him approach me.
Finally I decided to approach him and asked him I did confession to him then he told me that he admitted like me and try ask me for date but I give him attitude and kept ignored him that why he decided to do something same thing to me sound like karma. I realize I feel totally Idiot myself and took learn my lesson.
the most incredible of his eye and handsome face. I would smile and make small talk with him but he always ended up striking up a super-animated conversation with another girls or asking someone else to be his date for dance.
I remember feeling totally rejected on during early week before valentine day. What didn't he look at me like he did the girls? But I look back, I've come to realize what I experiencing was rejext.
Rejection entails putting yourself out there, making your voice heard, and getting a hard no. It's no fun and its stings it make you eat an entire ice cream and a batch of chocolate chip cookies that's why I was depression. Reject,howeve is constantly thinking, I should've. ...... or what if .......
And never taking action because you fear or feel rejection. I should have at least asked my crush out instead of mentally trying to will him approach me.
Finally I decided to approach him and asked him I did confession to him then he told me that he admitted like me and try ask me for date but I give him attitude and kept ignored him that why he decided to do something same thing to me sound like karma. I realize I feel totally Idiot myself and took learn my lesson.
I give you advice is least ask to your crush out for valentine day and don't be fear yourself. Good luck!
Love, channy \m/_
Friday, January 15, 2016
what are some of your resolution 2016?
what are my resolution 2016?
- this year in order to keep pushing myself and continue to be happiness and good mother.
- I will spend my time achieving on smaller goal.
- I may pledge to exercise more.
- eat rights and stay health.
- travel to new explore place.
- keeping write on blogging.
What are some of your resolution 2016?
let me know......... good luck for your new future years!
Love, Channy \m/_
Thursday, January 14, 2016
Best Of Book 2015:
I've read some books and which best books in 2015?
I recommend the name of books lists:
1)."Finding Zoe: A Deaf Woman's Story of Identify, Love, and Adoption."
1)."Finding Zoe: A Deaf Woman's Story of Identify, Love, and Adoption."
When I bought the book "Finding Zoe: A Deaf Woman's Story of identifying, love and adoption ". This is a book is simply profound, it sounds like a cliche to say it could your life but it may Once you read this first paragraph you are compelled to ignore the world and continue reading. I could not stop until I turned the last page in the end.
This is the most emotional book I ever read in my life, there are many similarities that I experience as like Brandi grow up. this brings a lot of memories from me and I was struggling when I was growing up. like struggles, loves, and hope are universal it's what I found most satisfying in the book also what I like most about it is there are themes from deaf culture, discrimination, an unexpected pregnancy, identify, struggles and self-acceptance all themes each one of us can relate to. The reminder that regardless of who we are, we can rise above and successfully over obstacles life throws our way. I recommend you should reading because stories that will inspire you to really pursue your dream.
2). "I'll scream later by Marlee Matlin"
When I met Marlee and signature this book at Deaf Nation Expo Las Vegas, I was excited to see her as a real person. she is a very nice person to lecture her book to tell about her life stories I found this book to be compelling and very moving. I think Marlee is extremely brave to bare her soul as she did. She has been an inspiration to me and should been an inspiration to anyone with any obstacles they may face in their lives.bbbf weds helloppsddppeicpiece and I like that i really felt that marlee was talknnnnnnnnn
I found this book to be compelling and very moving. I think Marlee is extremely brave to bare her soul as she did. She has been an inspiration to me and should been an inspiration to anyone with any obstacles they may face in their lives.
When I read like a stream of consciousness piece and I like that I really felt that Marlee was talking and signing to me, a story of her amazing life brutally honest and at a time quite brave, Marlee asks for no excuses apologies or pity for who she is. she let us know, lets into her world for alike while, sometimes the order is confusing but it can easily be overcome and it should as this fanatic story that should be shared with hearing and hard of hearing and deaf like me.
3). "Belonging at Fifteen, belonging is everything...."
This is the most emotional book I ever read in my life, there are many similarities that I experience as like Brandi grow up. this brings a lot of memories from me and I was struggling when I was growing up. like struggles, loves, and hope are universal it's what I found most satisfying in the book also what I like most about it is there are themes from deaf culture, discrimination, an unexpected pregnancy, identify, struggles and self-acceptance all themes each one of us can relate to. The reminder that regardless of who we are, we can rise above and successfully over obstacles life throws our way. I recommend you should reading because stories that will inspire you to really pursue your dream.
2). "I'll scream later by Marlee Matlin"
I found this book to be compelling and very moving. I think Marlee is extremely brave to bare her soul as she did. She has been an inspiration to me and should been an inspiration to anyone with any obstacles they may face in their lives.
When I read like a stream of consciousness piece and I like that I really felt that Marlee was talking and signing to me, a story of her amazing life brutally honest and at a time quite brave, Marlee asks for no excuses apologies or pity for who she is. she let us know, lets into her world for alike while, sometimes the order is confusing but it can easily be overcome and it should as this fanatic story that should be shared with hearing and hard of hearing and deaf like me.
3). "Belonging at Fifteen, belonging is everything...."
When my mom bought book for me I was 15 yrs old and read this book. A story of an adolescent girl gustie who contract an illness leaving her deaf living in a whole new world she learns how to adjust her life and gain acceptance her disability also learn a lot about people and about deafness, learns what is reality become deaf belong to her.
Love,channy \m/_
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
My Acne Nightmare
"pimples are the worst. But is fighting them with the most intense zit remedy out there worth? "
I was 12 years old when my mom first look at me, took me to the dermatologist. I have no idea that I'd spend the next couple years on a problem- skin roller coaster.
First I tried heavy-duty salicylic acid and benzoyl peroxide creams. Next it is was prescription antibiotics and treatments even painful in my face got very sensitive skin but things worked for a few months until my acne returned and eventually covered my face from forehead to chin also my chest. I began to lose hope that I'd ever have clear skin.
I was so self- conscious about anyone seeing my bare face. I spent 30 minutes a day caking and concealer, foundation and powder. I dodged cameras and wouldn't let my friends see me make-up free at sleepovers.
Junior year, I fell on the floor then get up myself when I walked to class and saw a photo of myself in the yearbook and every classmates and the jock were laughing too when he shake his head and laughing then pointing the picture over me, pointing out every blemish to his classmates he did confirmed my biggest fear: People were staring at my acne. not seeing the real me. all I wanted was to disappear. Or at less do something drastic to fix again.
My younger brother had treated his acne a few years earlier with the oral drug isotretinoin ( most people call it Accutane, thought that brand is still or discontinued ) so far I know the result were much more promising and permanent than anything else. I won't sugarcoat it, though the drug was scary to be on. At the time I wasn't take medicate for acne. I went to doctor for my check up and the check ups terrified me. I hate needles and I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that my brother had no appetite while on the medicine or that and other my friend's entire face scabbed over. I kept wondering, is this worth it?
I decide it was and went forward with treatment, knowing that my awful skin and self-esteem needed a cure. And after about two months, my existing acne few disappear. and my acne scarring was gone too i know that my transformation wasn't picture-perfect. well I'll never forget my first make up- free trip into the world a simple grocery store errand. Not soul glanced at my skin. I sighed with relief then wondered when my acne relapse would inevitably happen but almost magically, it never came.
At school, I slowly embrace my outgoing nature. I looked new people in the eye instead of staring at my feet. presenting in class was no longer something. Having clear skin helped me stop doubting how I looked and what I said. I even fell in love for the first time. I wasn't wearing any make up when we first locked eyes. I swear he saw beauty in my newfound confidence.
few year later I still get occasional pimple and acne. but I don't freak and I just move on with my day just knowing that a little breakout can't possibly dull my shine.
LOVE, Channy \m/_
I was 12 years old when my mom first look at me, took me to the dermatologist. I have no idea that I'd spend the next couple years on a problem- skin roller coaster.
First I tried heavy-duty salicylic acid and benzoyl peroxide creams. Next it is was prescription antibiotics and treatments even painful in my face got very sensitive skin but things worked for a few months until my acne returned and eventually covered my face from forehead to chin also my chest. I began to lose hope that I'd ever have clear skin.
I was so self- conscious about anyone seeing my bare face. I spent 30 minutes a day caking and concealer, foundation and powder. I dodged cameras and wouldn't let my friends see me make-up free at sleepovers.
Junior year, I fell on the floor then get up myself when I walked to class and saw a photo of myself in the yearbook and every classmates and the jock were laughing too when he shake his head and laughing then pointing the picture over me, pointing out every blemish to his classmates he did confirmed my biggest fear: People were staring at my acne. not seeing the real me. all I wanted was to disappear. Or at less do something drastic to fix again.
My younger brother had treated his acne a few years earlier with the oral drug isotretinoin ( most people call it Accutane, thought that brand is still or discontinued ) so far I know the result were much more promising and permanent than anything else. I won't sugarcoat it, though the drug was scary to be on. At the time I wasn't take medicate for acne. I went to doctor for my check up and the check ups terrified me. I hate needles and I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that my brother had no appetite while on the medicine or that and other my friend's entire face scabbed over. I kept wondering, is this worth it?
I decide it was and went forward with treatment, knowing that my awful skin and self-esteem needed a cure. And after about two months, my existing acne few disappear. and my acne scarring was gone too i know that my transformation wasn't picture-perfect. well I'll never forget my first make up- free trip into the world a simple grocery store errand. Not soul glanced at my skin. I sighed with relief then wondered when my acne relapse would inevitably happen but almost magically, it never came.
At school, I slowly embrace my outgoing nature. I looked new people in the eye instead of staring at my feet. presenting in class was no longer something. Having clear skin helped me stop doubting how I looked and what I said. I even fell in love for the first time. I wasn't wearing any make up when we first locked eyes. I swear he saw beauty in my newfound confidence.
few year later I still get occasional pimple and acne. but I don't freak and I just move on with my day just knowing that a little breakout can't possibly dull my shine.
LOVE, Channy \m/_
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
I can't stop picking my acne skin
"I can't stop picking my acne skin"
How do you know when I innocent and become habit has turned something way more serious?!
I decide to write share my journey habits
When I was little girl and still wondering looked at my mother, she always picking on her skin face like cheeks,neck and everywhere you talk about mention on it. then I was thought that's cool to picking on the skin or face sound fun.
When I become teenager and started high school, I convinced my mother gave me some money for make up stuff or take me to go make up artist at mall or salon either and they doing for me. then I went to school and felt pretty but inside of myself touching on my face and felt a pimple was pressure from any pimple irritation. I scratched and squeeze it off and often make me feel so good.
Afterward, I felt something different and walking to bathroom then see a mirror of myself notice that I have huge ugly white pimple and I was like eww! and instantly something in my mind clicked: picking those pimple felt .... soothing. Everyday my fingers return to every the spot. When there was nothing left to pick no pimple over my face, I started to scratch at dry pimple or bumps until they bled, covering my face on make up (everywhere on my face include my body).
My habit!
In the years that followed, whenever I was stressed by my life, school,boy drama, argument with my family, or simply bored, I picked. Doing it made me feel good or guilty and even more anxious, which caused by me to pick more. My mother and my friend include my boyfriend were aware of my habit, but they didn't realize how bad it was. I'd get some relief by washing my face,take snack time to eat ice cream and watch any movies also tv show because compliments I'd receive on my mood was good would allow me to temporarily forget what they were hiding. No one could see that my acne became disappear and fading addition coverage foundation too after washing it because fresh and less red spot skin wounds. And they had no clue that when I looked in a mirror it wasn't for touch- ups but to make sure I'd gotten all of the skin become dry and oily of my face. I was constantly nervous that I'd be caught. In fact, a simple " you have something on your face"sent a rush of fear through me.
Finding a way to find
After college, I leave to college and withdrawal. I became homesick and return to my hometown in New York City and looking for job but offer training school for data entry job. I did found a job what I love doing work at hospital and doing data entry clerk and medical assistant make me focus and task thing to do so far make me forget picking on my acne. I met co-worker where I work in medical record office and co-worker tell me that I have acne problem and systems seemed similar to her same issue her disorder which people compulsively pull out their hair, picking the skin every body or else
also the relief that it creates the inability to stop doing it and the emotional distress it causes stress, anxious,pressure,angry,depression etc. I discovered I have real a problem that the dermatology.
I try my best to adjust my action and emotions. after 10 years of break out I ready to show my real skin become acne and don't have to hide anymore I still proud of myself being acne. Somehow I always know I still beautiful inside and outside what I am today.
I'd be more aware of it every time I picking on my skin when i see "pimple" become my habit to squeeze it because it's gross thing. however My excitement was short-lived. The weeks were more difficult, I got discouraged, and my anxiety and frustration grew. But when A cosmetology explained that If I didn't stop picking, I could keeping clear my face and become smooth everything will different and pimple less.
The Final Stretch
It's been fourth months since I began to take care of my skin acne but still challenge to try stop habit touch my face or see it then squeeze it. I'm not healed , but I 'm still doing a lot better. My recovery going waves someday I won't touch or avoid the mirror when i see it and stop it. like example it just feels habitual and mindless- a major step that gives me hope. When I can, I wear on foundation to hide scar and acne prevent myself from touching on my skin acne and keeps busy although some scar and acne not go away, they'll remind me of how far I've come.
Love, Channy \m/_
How do you know when I innocent and become habit has turned something way more serious?!
I decide to write share my journey habits
When I was little girl and still wondering looked at my mother, she always picking on her skin face like cheeks,neck and everywhere you talk about mention on it. then I was thought that's cool to picking on the skin or face sound fun.
When I become teenager and started high school, I convinced my mother gave me some money for make up stuff or take me to go make up artist at mall or salon either and they doing for me. then I went to school and felt pretty but inside of myself touching on my face and felt a pimple was pressure from any pimple irritation. I scratched and squeeze it off and often make me feel so good.
Afterward, I felt something different and walking to bathroom then see a mirror of myself notice that I have huge ugly white pimple and I was like eww! and instantly something in my mind clicked: picking those pimple felt .... soothing. Everyday my fingers return to every the spot. When there was nothing left to pick no pimple over my face, I started to scratch at dry pimple or bumps until they bled, covering my face on make up (everywhere on my face include my body).
My habit!
In the years that followed, whenever I was stressed by my life, school,boy drama, argument with my family, or simply bored, I picked. Doing it made me feel good or guilty and even more anxious, which caused by me to pick more. My mother and my friend include my boyfriend were aware of my habit, but they didn't realize how bad it was. I'd get some relief by washing my face,take snack time to eat ice cream and watch any movies also tv show because compliments I'd receive on my mood was good would allow me to temporarily forget what they were hiding. No one could see that my acne became disappear and fading addition coverage foundation too after washing it because fresh and less red spot skin wounds. And they had no clue that when I looked in a mirror it wasn't for touch- ups but to make sure I'd gotten all of the skin become dry and oily of my face. I was constantly nervous that I'd be caught. In fact, a simple " you have something on your face"sent a rush of fear through me.
Finding a way to find
After college, I leave to college and withdrawal. I became homesick and return to my hometown in New York City and looking for job but offer training school for data entry job. I did found a job what I love doing work at hospital and doing data entry clerk and medical assistant make me focus and task thing to do so far make me forget picking on my acne. I met co-worker where I work in medical record office and co-worker tell me that I have acne problem and systems seemed similar to her same issue her disorder which people compulsively pull out their hair, picking the skin every body or else
also the relief that it creates the inability to stop doing it and the emotional distress it causes stress, anxious,pressure,angry,depression etc. I discovered I have real a problem that the dermatology.
I try my best to adjust my action and emotions. after 10 years of break out I ready to show my real skin become acne and don't have to hide anymore I still proud of myself being acne. Somehow I always know I still beautiful inside and outside what I am today.
I'd be more aware of it every time I picking on my skin when i see "pimple" become my habit to squeeze it because it's gross thing. however My excitement was short-lived. The weeks were more difficult, I got discouraged, and my anxiety and frustration grew. But when A cosmetology explained that If I didn't stop picking, I could keeping clear my face and become smooth everything will different and pimple less.
The Final Stretch
It's been fourth months since I began to take care of my skin acne but still challenge to try stop habit touch my face or see it then squeeze it. I'm not healed , but I 'm still doing a lot better. My recovery going waves someday I won't touch or avoid the mirror when i see it and stop it. like example it just feels habitual and mindless- a major step that gives me hope. When I can, I wear on foundation to hide scar and acne prevent myself from touching on my skin acne and keeps busy although some scar and acne not go away, they'll remind me of how far I've come.
Love, Channy \m/_
Monday, October 12, 2015
What's your grateful?
When you think about it and want to saying
Grateful For......
- Early make up = children to love
- House to clean = safe place to live
- Laundry= clothes to wear
- Dishes to wash = food to eat
- Crumbs under the table = family meals
- Grocery shopping = money to provide for us
- Toilets to clean = indoor plumbing
- Lots of noise= people in my life
- Endless questions about homework= kids brains growing
- Sore + Tired in the bed = I'm still alive!
do you think and write on lists what you grateful for?
Love,Channy \m/_
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A Silent Voice Movie
youtube video link here: https://youtu.be/6rFOv6VMQpc Based on a popular manga comic, Japanese director Naoko Yamada ’s (K-On) affe...
