My Acne Nightmare

"pimples are the worst. But is fighting them with the most intense zit remedy out there worth? "

I was 12 years old when my mom first look at me, took me to the dermatologist. I have no idea that I'd spend the next couple years on a problem- skin roller coaster.

First I tried heavy-duty salicylic acid and benzoyl peroxide creams. Next it is was prescription antibiotics and treatments even painful in my face got very sensitive skin but things worked for a few months until my acne returned and eventually covered my face from forehead to chin also my chest. I began to lose hope that I'd ever have clear skin.

I was so self- conscious about anyone seeing my bare face. I spent 30 minutes a day caking and concealer, foundation and powder. I dodged cameras and wouldn't let my friends see me make-up free at sleepovers.

Junior year, I fell on the floor then get up myself when I walked to class and saw a photo of myself in the yearbook and every classmates and the jock were laughing too when he shake his head and laughing then pointing the picture over me, pointing out every blemish to his classmates  he did confirmed my biggest fear: People were staring at my acne. not seeing the real me. all I wanted was to disappear. Or at less do something drastic to fix again.

My younger brother had treated his acne a few years earlier with the oral drug isotretinoin ( most people call it Accutane, thought that brand is still or discontinued ) so far I know the result were much more promising and permanent than anything else. I won't sugarcoat it, though the drug was scary to be on. At the time I wasn't take medicate for acne.  I went to doctor for my check up and  the check ups terrified me. I hate needles and I  couldn't stop thinking about the fact that my brother had no appetite while on the medicine or that and other my friend's entire face scabbed over. I kept wondering, is this worth it?

I decide it was and went forward with treatment, knowing that my awful skin and self-esteem needed a cure. And after about two months, my existing acne few disappear. and my acne scarring was gone too i know that my transformation wasn't picture-perfect. well I'll never forget my first make up- free trip into the world  a simple grocery store errand. Not soul glanced at my skin. I sighed with relief then wondered when my acne relapse  would inevitably happen  but almost magically, it never came.

At school, I slowly embrace my outgoing nature. I looked new people in the eye instead of staring at my feet. presenting in class was no longer something. Having clear skin helped me stop doubting how I looked and what I said. I even fell in love for the first time. I wasn't wearing any make up when we first locked eyes. I swear he saw beauty in my newfound confidence.
few year later I still get occasional pimple and acne. but I don't freak and  I just move on with my day  just knowing that a little breakout can't possibly dull my shine.





LOVE, Channy \m/_